Lawrence Ingraham’s Blog

Lawrence I’m sorry to hear about your father. Overall, it’s a better place he’s in now. I watched my grandfather battle Alzheimer’s for many years it’s tragic what something can do to the people you once knew. Every time I think about your dad, it was him tooling around Alameda in that ancient Volvo : ) used to make me smile. You’ll be in my prayers-J

What a thoughtful, kind, and loving tribute to your dad. I’m very sorry you had to watch him go through such an evil disease and I’m sorry Max won’t know her wonderful grandpa. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

This is a wonderful tribute, Lawrence. I am sorry that you lost your dad. It isn’t fair. I loved him very much, he was the very best uncle that a little girl could wish for. He’s the reason why I’m an avid reader and lack all self control in bookstores. There’s a lot of good stuff that I can point a finger back at and say, “That was from Wicked Uncle Donald.” Thanks for sharing him like this. You know, I’d totally forgotten the pig nose.

We’re thinking of your family. You have our condolences and lots of good thoughts.

That was some thing else. I am in total tears. Thank you for the memories.

I am saddened to here of your loss; you have shared part of his greatness to us which explains where you get yours. God Bless.

Lawrence, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know that your father’s memory will live on through those that loved him. Max will know him through you and your stories and tribute. I know Amanda and Max benefit daily from the way he influenced you and brought you up. God bless you and your family during this time of mourning.

Don was the smartest guy I ever knew. Most talented too. Ironically I’m in Disneyland now as I write this. This was a favorite spot for him. We talked many hours together of our adventures here. He loved his work. He loved his books, but he loved his two boys the best. Lawrence, he loved ‘field of dreams’ most because it is a father and son film. We both teared up at the end of the film when we watched it together once. He loved you boys more than anything in this world. Hold those memories for him. I will miss those good times I had with him. God bless him.

This is beautifully written Lawrence. He sounds like a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing! Take care, we are thinking of you. Love, Eileen

Wonderful tribute Lawrence. Thanks for uploading the pictures and video- it was great to hear your Dad again and it brought back a lot of good memories. He was a marvelous uncle- always supporting and encouraging whatever interest or hobby we were pursuing at the moment. I’ll never forget his thoughtfulness and the knack he had for finding the most esoteric little treasures for his nephews and nieces. We’ve missed him a great deal these past years.

Our thoughts are with you and your family-

Your dad was the one person in your family that I never really knew. After reading this, I’m sad that I didn’t know him. He sounds like an amazing person. Thank you for sharing. I hope you find comfort at this time.

Thank you for sharing this and your dad sounds like an amazing person. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Thank you for the extremely touching tribute to your father. As a deputy DA here in Alameda County your father’s name is so familiar and he is highly respected. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Lawrence this was a great tribute to your dad. I had the chance to meet when I was a Law Enforcement Officer. I remember he had a great since of humor and I enjoyed the Point of View Videos. I am in the DA’s office now and I can tell you your dad is still remembered fondly.
My Prayers for your dad and the rest of your family -Autrey

To the Ingraham Family
I worked with Don in the DALITE section for many years. He brought such humor and profound intelligence to the unit on a daily basis. He had a way to answer the answerable that constantly had me in awe. My mission was to make him laugh. It was hard to do but once in a while I would hit one out of the park with him. I miss him every day still. I am sad that he is gone but I hope he is at peace at last.

I only knew your Dad as the DA who presented our “Points and Authorities” video at the DA’s Office when I was a new DA. I always thought, “Man, I’ll never be as smart as that guy!” Thanks for sharing a side of your Dad many of us in the office never knew about him, and my thoughts and prayers to your family.

I am saddened at the lost of you dad. I had the prevlige of working with him for 30 years and I loved every minute. I’m also greatful that he married such a wonderful person, Terry and that I was able to watch you boys grow up and become men.
I will miss him.
Yvonne Ayres

Lawrence – I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. I love what you wrote, it brought tears to my eyes even though I didn’t know him. Thanks for sharing.

This is a wonderful and creative tribute to a wonderful and creative man. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

What a beautiful tribute! I worked with your dad in the late 1960′s and early 1970′s at the DA’s office. I remember once I had expressed an interest in some books. Since your dad belonged to at least one book club, he ordered the books and left them on my San Lorenzo porch early one Saturday morning. He refused to let me reimburse him. He was that kind of man. Alzheimer’s took both my dad and my maternal grandmother. It is an extremely undignified disease, and your dad was certainly a dignified man. My sincere sympathies to you, your brother, your mom, and your extended families.

Lawrence… Thank you for these memories. My Grandfather started the video unit in the Alameda County DA’s Office in the 1960′s. He was so very proud of that unit and was what your father and Art Garrett produced after he retired. I myself became a Deputy DA in 1996 and shared many delightful conversations with your Dad. What a brilliant man! I found it so ironic that he was fallen by Alzheimers. It could have been the subject of a Greek tragedy. I was just speaking about Don last Thursday with a group of newer D.A.’s He is and always will be a beloved figure around this office. I will miss him. My prayers are with your family. May you and Don finally be at peace.

Lawrence,
Thank you for sharing your dad with us. I had the honor of being taught by your father in the police academy in 1983. Many years later, I had the pleasure of working with him at the District Attorney’s office. As you have mentioned, he truly was a master presenter who could keep everyone’s attention during his lectures. I’m sure he is in heaven now, smiling down at all of us.

Lawrence, I could not have asked for a better epitaph for Don. When the law books were put away at the end of every day, he went home to the people who mattered most in his life: yourself, Andrew, and Terry. I thank you guys for being the wonderful family he loved so much. When your daughter gets out in the world you’ll understand his feelings. And I will always be in your debt for the care, the love, and the patient understanding you gave him throughout the seemingly endless progress of his final illness. Awsome.

Lawrence

In reading your wonderful reflections on your dad (to me, the one and only Uncle Donald) and others’ responses, I’m struck by so many things that I’ll apologize in advance for what I’m sure will soon be a bit too much for this space. Your dad was no ordinary person though, and his influence deserves some going on about.

As a young kid, I saw Uncle Donald as equal parts comedian, professor, magician, librarian, actor, artist, lawyer, grownup and kid. Going to your house was, in its own way, like going to Disneyland; your attic was the original Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (not precisely a Disney property I know, but you’ll forgive the comparison). Uncle Donald would always talk to us about anything that interested us, find a book or five to fuel our curiosity and draw us a diagram or logo to make it memorable. Magic was an early interest of mine and he loaned, bought or inspired the building of many tricks my parents still have boxed up in their house. Visiting him in Alameda usually meant going to La Val’s Pizza and I still remember thinking “My god, what is this stuff? ‘Pizza’ you say. It’s fantastic. We would never have something like this at our house!”

Now as an adult, nearly the age he was when I was born, I realize that I will never be as bright, articulate and imaginative as he was. But I can (and will) remember to clip to a red velvet rope to someone’s pocket and try to be a great uncle to my nieces and nephews.

That your dad struggled first with his sight and then with his memory is the cruelest of ironies. Few eyes have ever consumed so much or minds organized information so perfectly. I’m so sorry for what that loss meant for him and for your family these last years.

Above all, my lasting memory of Uncle Donald will always be that certain twinkle he’d have in his eye, his mouth slightly awry in a smile, waiting for the perfect moment to hit with the cleverest punch line or to deliver the perfect comic comeback. To find any of his many attributes—the height of intelligence, rightness of character, depth of insight, complexity of humor, enormity of love for his family—in isolation, is rare; to have the combination of those parts, wholly unique. The memory of him, more importantly than his loss, is irreplaceable.

To the Ingraham Family: I’m another member of the Alameda County DA’s Office and I had the pleasure of learning from your dad. We were all blessed by his intellect and presentations. Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.

Lawrence,
I was sad when I heard that Don had passed away; Alzheimers IS the cruelest of diseases! I would like to think that he is now free of all that. I was privileged to have Don as my brother-in-law; I could not have asked for better. As a person, he was magical, funny, brilliant, and, above all, the kindest person I have ever known.
My favorite memory is of trying to debate a point with him. About half way through our discussion I would suddenly find that he had switched sides, and I was arguing for what I had initially been dead set against! He could argue any position any number of times, and at the end of the discussion, I was never really sure what I had started out saying or why!
Thank you for the lovely tribute. It was wonderful to hear his voice again and look at the old photos. I know that you and Andrew and your Mom were the most important people in his life, and he loved you with all his heart.

It was a pleasure to work with Don for over twenty years. He was a delightful man with a wide range of knowledge and interests…a true scholar. Among my memories of him was his office on the 9th floor of the Court House with the groaning and overloaded bookshelves, stacks on the floor and randon piles that held what was an eclectic collection of books and documents that reflected his many interests. His work in the office is well known and he lives forever in the Point of View tapes that were part of the Monday evening staff meetings. The picture of him topping his hat as if to say a jaunty good-bye to us all brings tears to my eyes. Your father was an extraordinary man and a joy to know. He will be missed and remembered by all who knew him.

I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I took dance classes from your Mom when you were little, and your folks both let me stay in the carriage house behind your place when I was broke and in college.

I happened on your site out of the blue today, and was deeply saddened to hear of your father’s recent passing. The pictures you posted of your Dad and his work brought back so many happy memories. Both your parents were such a source of joy in everyone’s lives the years we knew them, and your father will be deeply missed by so many.

My family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

[...] received an email from Lawrence. His dad, Don Ingraham, designed Alameda’s flag in 1984. Lawrence also pointed me to an article (on the design of [...]

I knew your father 30+ years ago. Your father was terrific and I too loved his sense of humor. As I read these posts I see how he profoundly touched so many people. Well, his legacy continues even further. You may remember a friend of his, Darryl Ferreira. When I was a teenager, Darryl was the director of a teen acting troupe that I performed in and Don contributed many wonderful adaptatios of children’s plays for our group to perform. His witty versions of well-known fairy tales entertained hundreds of youngsters. But his theatrical works didn’t stop there. I kept all those plays that I performed in many years ago, and now as a theatre teacher, I make sure his satirical plays are a part of my classroom curriculum every year and the students just LOVE them.

Dear Ingraham Family,
A true loss, not only to you, but to the law enforcement family as well.
I met Don while I was at OPD and saw all those qualities you conveyed and just enjoyed being around him.
I have walked, played ball,ran the bases, walked into the corn rows looking for “Shoeless Joe Jackson” and the others at the “Field of Dreams” (just an hr outside of Des Moines, IA, and still available for stays, weddings,etc.) and found peace there too….Anytime you want to go, contact me and we’ll enjoy, pray,relax and search LF or just from the bleachers, for TWO icons..
My best, (I’ll wear my Billy Bob teeth so he’ll see us)
Jim Coleman
OPD (Ret.)
Mazatlan, Mexico
mztgringo@yahoo.com

Lawrence, I was deeply saddened to hear of your fathers passing. He will be in my prayers. Your Dad was a great guy! As I write this message I am looking at my Retirement poster drawn by Don. I and numerous others treasure his memory via our drawings created by your father. My thoughts are with you and your family. Jim Barbour, Ret Capt DA’s Ofc

Lawrence:

Only today did I learn of Don’s passing. Belated condolences.

What a proud son you must be, and deservedly so. I served with OPD from 1964-89, so my career roughly paralleled your dad’s. I had the distinct pleasure of meeting him many times in individual and group settings. And, like everybody else, he taught me more case and statutory law than anybody else in or out of law enforcement.

Never before have I met anybody who had such a dry sense of humor and razor sharp timing when he used it. It takes a lot to make case law entertaining. Don did so routinely.

Over the years, I must have called Don 20-30 times to get counsel on some statute or legal technicality. My recollection from these many pleas for help? First, Don was always available. He usually answered the phone himself on the first ring. If he was not in the office, he called back right away.

Second, there was NEVER a question that he did not answer authoritatively and immediately, with no need for research or “I get back to you.” He would even give the case citations in the course of the response. How could he do that? We did not need computers back then, we had Don.

A great human being with a brilliant mind and incredible sense of humor, Don’s contribution to justice in Alameda County can never be fully measured.

Phil Coleman

I worked with Don in the DA’s office for more than 20 years. He moved into my office on the 9th floor when I was put in charge of the drug unit. I don’t think it was 30 minutes later that there were more books in that office than you could find in a library. Don was a remarkable human being and very creative. He was truly one of a kind.

I worked with Don for several years with Art Garrrett at the DA’s Video Unit in Oakland, we all had great fun. I will miss him greatly. We all went to the first screening of Star Wars together at the Coronet in San Francisco and loved every minute.

I’m sorry for what you went through. I’m not your age yet, but the disease is starting to affect me. My great grandmother, up until a couple years ago, ran her own farm. Planted, harvested, all that. In just a couple years time, she barely moves from her couch and can’t remember what she had for dinner the night before. She understands she should be upset about what’s happening to her, but she can’t figure out what exactly it is… it’s an absolutely frightening thing to go through. Despite not being a writer, I think you captured the effects of this disease on even the best of people very well.

Lawrence-

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your tribute brought tears to my eyes. Your dad sounds like a great man.

Sal

I performed the definitive research on computer crime at SRI International in 1970-1997 and wmet with Don to exchange information in the nature of computer crime. Don contributed greatly to our knowledge of computer crime and his no-nonsense approach was instrumental in making the criminal justice community effective in dealing with it. Can you imagine what he would be doing today with the proliferation of cybercrime? What a wonderful, caring, intelligent man.